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The Waters of Life
Crashing, Falling.
Tumbling, Turning,
Churning, Whirling,
These waters reflect in so many ways my life.
If I were to Stand Close, They might reach out to touch me,
to make the rest of the world in-audible.
The water is falling without regret; Water has no regrets.
But this river falls out of extortion. And so do I.
The river knows nothing else. I do.
I question this controlled torture.
The river like myself, is burdoned.
With Other's work and evil ways on it's shoulders,
this river might be passed by.
On a quiet peacedul day
when you might hear but a trickle of water
enhanced by the call of a lark.
This obnoxious audtivity rips it's way into my heart.
I can relate.
What goes with this obnoxious noise,
is something visually something to marvel at.
The irony of it amazes me.
While obnoxious crash of the waters makes me cringe,
the visual effects could be visually stimulating.
All but today.
A cat-bird cries its lonley mournful song,
I hear a lost kitten.
Maybe the river is crying too.
~A Whisper~
A whisper
A wish
A sound
Is made on that small star
So dim
Yet so bright
And small
And smaller
Until bang
It is stepped on
Like a skunk in the road
Its guts poured out
As it screams in pain
In terror
To grasp the moment
To die
And be forgiven
Or punished
For running in the road
And going for the grass
That’s always on the other side
He took the chance
For the grass so green
To die for it
~Aside~
All the hurt inside
All that pain
From those times
When you just brushed me aside
That pain, and that hurt
Just building up
Where you cant see
On the Inside of me
And all that pain
Its just killing me
I know I may look like I’ve got it together
But on the inside Im a mess
A terrible awful mess
Why can’t you see
How bad it hurts
Time after time, what you’ve done to me
When you just leave me
And Im sitting here all alone
Thinking back on all those times
When everything was just fine
I was so happy
The world was perfect
And there wasn’t a thing that could bring me down
Why did you have to go and leave me
Here all alone
Do you know the pain you’ve caused
Since you’ve left
Ive seen better days
And sometimes I want to just die
So I can escape it all
To get away from this whole awful reality
But when I come back
Things haven’t changed
I guess they never will
And this awful reality I call home
Will be my eternal hell
Why cant this just be over
For a second or two
And you could be back here with me
We could imagine that everything was just fine
And maybe just then, maybe that reality
Wouldn’t have to be mine
It could be someone else’s
Someone in a book or a story
And the world could be just perfect again
~UNTITLED~
I want to drown you in my tears
bury you in my guilt.
Make you feel the pain,
The pain that you have built.
I want you to be sick
like a dog in the night.
I want you and your bestfriend
to kill each other in a fight.
You should deal with the shit I deal with
and then come talk to me.
You're not in my shoes,
but when you are, you'll be different
you will see.
I hope I make you cry someday
I hope I make you suffer.
Someday I hope you'll think of me
and you'll escape from this new cover.
I hope you fucking obsess over someone
and they spit on you a lot!
I hope it's me, I'll crush you.
For that is what I got.
I should call you ugly, damn it.
I should put you down.
And if I do,
Maybe, will you...
be different to me now?
Just change for me somehow?
Please go back to you, right now.
~Sarah Jane Waltman
A Simple Smile
She smiled at a sorrowful stranger.
The smile seemed to make him feel better.
He remembered past kindness of a friend
And wrote him a thank you letter.
The friend was so pleased with the thank you
That he left a large tip after lunch.
The waitress, surprised by the size of the tip,
Bet the whole thing on a hunch.
The next day she picked up her winnings,
And gave part to a man on the street.
The man on the street was grateful;
For two days he'd had nothing to eat.
After he finished his dinner,
He left for his small dingy room.
He didn't know at that moment
That he might be facing his doom.
On the way he picked up a shivering puppy
And took him home to get warm.
The puppy was very grateful
To be in out of the storm.
That night the house caught on fire.
The puppy barked the alarm.
He barked till he woke the whole household
And saved everybody from harm.
One of the boys that he rescued
Grew up to be President.
All this because of a simple smile
That hadn't cost a cent.
~Author Unknown
~This Deadly Cycle~
Why do I let you in,
over and over again
The Words Still There,
yet only in memory.
What once was,
Fades away from my vision.
Time goes by, and again,
You rip at my skin
Slashing and cutting, slicing me.
Your silence a deadly killer
Forgiving you my only fault
I let you back in
This deadly cycle i cannot stop
Its what i dont know
What I cant see
All that which keeps attacking me
I may not resist it
This cycle that flows through my veins
If I let you know,
how much this hurts
Will anything ever change?
Sometimes I wish i could learn to hate.
Just so I could hate you
The hates not there
Only love, and trust
Let me down once again,
and I'll still be here to pick the pieces up
~The Shards of your Silence~
When you rip my life appart,
you just dont understand
Bury me with your problems
go ahead, pour it on some more.
Tear out all the pieces
you know what once existed,
and cut me with the shards
Why cant you see,
that all your doing, really does hurt
It hurts so much
Forgive you again,
twist my arm, and prolong the pain
If you could only understand,
why I cried for you so many times,
I know i should have learned.
Long ago
Still I let you hurt me.
Its been so long,
since the person I knew left.
Leaving someone new to replace
The harsh words that you said.
And what you didnt say,
hurt most of all.
The silence,
your ever present
your ever so silent killer.
Well that, that hurt me most of all.
~Coatings~
IF They all could see the real me
I wonder if they'd stick arround
I wonder if they'd really care
If I took aff all this harsh exterior coating
Revealing the person within.
Would they stare
Would they laugh
I cant bear it this way.
Walking arround every day
With my coating
It covers my features
Hides my ugly face
And I know, if i took it off for a second.
They would all turn away in disgust.
Its what they cant see.
Oh why cant anyone see.
That I'm just like everyone else.
Wanting, Hoping.
Just Hiding behing this coating.
Out of my fear.
Out of my regret.
Out of my disgust.
Oh why cant they see?
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