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| The Crazed City | |
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Stupid Stuff
The School Stoppers Handbook... liberate your life - smash your school!
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Some thoughts...
~*~While it may seem like fun to shove peanuts in you ear, its not necessarilly a good idea*~*Next time you drink and drive, drink absolute vodka!~*~Its not a good idea to play with lighters while holding a can full of gasolene and driving at 90mph down a dirt road*~*Next time you decide to drive on a freeway with tolls, think, why is it a free way if you must pay to drive on it......~*~Just beacause you saw it on TV doesnt mean its actually possible*~*If a man in a trench coat is standing at your front door holding a gun, and asking for cookies, dont let him in~*~Next time the lunch lady serves "roadkill suprise" dont be supprised if you find tire marks on it~*~If it says made in china, it probably is*~*When your mom told you not to do drugs, she didnt say anytrhing about kitchen utensils now did she?~*~Just beacause it fits there, doesnt mean it belongs there~*~If you see a car on the road swerving over the center line and acting drunk besides you, check the license plate4, its probably from Massechuttess*~*Why do watches that are "unbreakable" always seem to break~*~When I was 2 and i told Santa I wanted a dog for christmas, i didnt mean my brother~*~Just beacause I have a brain doesnt necessarilly mean I use itHow come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?Why do people without out a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?The light went out, but where to?Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?Why is it you have a "pair" of pants and only one bra?How come when I call Information they can't tell me where my keys are?Why do people go to Burger King and Order a Double Whopper with a Large French Fry and insist on getting a Diet Coke?Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?Why is the alphabet in that order?If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way.If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it do the other trees make fun of it?Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!!Who's bigger? Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby? Mr. Bigger's baby because he is a little bigger!Do fish get cramps after eating?How come abbreviated is such a long word?Why are there 5 sylables in the word "monosylabic"?If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?If progress is technology moving forward,then what is congress?Why do we go under over-passes and over under-passes?What if C-A-T really spelled DOG?How do "Keep off the grass" signs get where they are?If the plural of "mouse" is "mice, shouldn't the plural of "house" be "hice"?What happens to the holes when all the cheese has been eaten?If you put orange juice in the freezer it becomes frozen, then why when you squeeze an orange doesn't it become squozen?Why is there only one Monopolies commission?Why do ballet dancers always dance on their toes? Wouldn't it be easier to just hire taller dancers?Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?If a train station is where a train stops, what is a workstation?Don`t think that you`re thinking. If you think that you're thinking you only think that you're thinking.
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